Kellie wrote:
Hi Isa, I have a question about my furry friend Max. Max is about 14 years old now and we have been together for 13 years. I love him very much, as you already know and I am doing my best to keep him happy and comfortable. Max makes it very obvious that he does not enjoy being left alone and I bring him around with me in my car when it’s possible, however I know I could have him with me more and worry less if he was kennel trained. I have tried a few times to kennel train him and he behaves well when I am right beside the kennel but I’d like him to know he’s safe in there even when I’m not right close by.What do I need to do to help Max understand the kennel is a good thing and it means we get to hang out more? If I can’t figure out how to get him to cooperate he’s going to have to stay home where I know he is safe and quiet. Help!
Hi Kelly.
I remember Max. We had a lot of fun together. Understand that Max is older and is set in his ways and that he has come to be very co-dependent on you and it’s something that you created out of a need within yourself, for something to be fulfilled within you. And because you needed this, you created this scenario, therefore you’re accountable and responsible for the outcome at this time.
Recognize that if you can’t bring him with you in the safe way and he chooses not to be kenneled, then you must leave him home. If you carry guilt over that, that’s your choice, but if he’s comfortable and he’s given everything he requires at home, then there is no need for any guilt. If you’re out and you think about how bad you feel because he’s not with you, then he’s going to feel bad too. So my suggestion to you would be to only think of him in love when you’re not with him. Just send him love and joy and that’s what he will in turn receive.
Also understand that he is only reflecting what you send out so a lot of the issue is manifested because you created it in the beginning. Take responsibility for that creation and recognize that you’re the only one who can change that at this point. But you have to change it with your perception and your actions, you can’t change it by fixing him. That’s not how it’s going to work.
Max loves you very much. He only wants to help you and he only wants the best for you and I know you only want the best for him. You also have to want the best for yourself. Love yourself more. You deserve it.
Thank you.
~Isa